Zakk and Wilson Save Christmas!

[Lei Wulong]

Genre: Comedy, Holiday, Action

Summary: It's Christmas time again!  Zakk decides that he's going to spend the holidays with his best friend in the whole wide world, but when Wilson gets news that his adoptive sister has fallen ill, the pair do whatever they can to save Jenny, and most importantly, save Christmas!

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ZAKK AND WILSON  

SAVES CHRISTMAS 

Wilson sits at his desk, concentrating intensely on an activity that he is doing. He is wearing goggles and gloves as he uses a soldering gun. He’s trapped in this trance; this is something that he must do. However, little did he know, his roommate, Zakk was closing in on him. The redhead quietly opened the door, totally unaware of what Wilson was doing, except the smell of burnt rubber filled the air.

“Hey, Wi_”

This very moment startled poor Wilson. He accidentally gets the hot metal on his hands, and he screams and drops everything, cursing in pain as he took off his glove and peeled the burned skin off as it had healed instantly.

“Jesus Christ! Zakk, what the fuck were you doing! You know damn well, you can’t just barge in here like you own the place!”

Zakk backed away, raising his arms up in defense. “Sorry bro! Dude, I thought you could see me. Like, how am I supposed to know that you’re not looking at me?”

“If I don’t acknowledge your existence the second you walk in here, then it is very clear that I did not see you.”

Zakk then took as seat on the side of the bed. “And people say I’m angry all the time…” He mumbled to himself.

“Well, anyway, it’s ruined now. No thanks to you.”

“My point exactly… What were you trying to do anyway?”

“I was designing a motherboard for some Christmas robot that plays Christmas songs.”

“That’s called a radio.”

Wilson gave Zakk a blank stare before placing the palm of his hand on his forehead. “Well, shit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

“Well, nevermind then. I was doomed from the start.”

“Exactly. So, anyway, sorry for scaring you like that, but question, what are you doing on Christmas?”

“I’m thinking about going home, and just hanging out with my sister.”

“Oh… well… okay. Yeah, I forgot about that… Eheheh…”

“Why? Something the matter? Do you need a ride or something?”

“Well… I was just hoping… you and I could just sit back and hangout on Christmas.”

“Oh, but what about your family?”

“I’m still going to hang out with them, don’t worry. I just thought well, since this is our first Christmas together, we might as well enjoy ourselves.”

Wilson gave Zakk a funny look. “Zakk, I’m flattered. While you are an extremely attractive male, and you find me desirable, I’m not into sex. I don’t swing that way. Sorry. Also, what about Gabby  Won't she be mad at us for having sex?”

Zakk slapped himself in the face. “Wilson, I’m not asking you to have sex! I’m just hoping we could hang out together! Oh and as far as Gabby though, well, her racist family doesn’t want me near her this holiday.”

“Oh well, damn. Did you try to reason with her?”

“Oh, boy, I’ve tried! I’ve tried! I was like, well, I don’t care! You shouldn’t care! But she was like, but I must honor my grandmother’s wishes, etc and some other bullshit. She never seemed to listen to her parents when they tell her to do stuff! Yet, she listens to that old bitch! She gives me that same shit last Thanksgiving! Like, I mean, who put that old lady in charge of her life! And you know what else, HER DAD IS MEXICAN!! Why they fuck would they not want anything to do with me? I’m Japanese! Wait! You don’t think she’s embarrassed of me!”

Wilson shrugged. “I think she’s just… not ready for that.”

Zakk tilts his head. “Ready for what?”

“You know… I’m not relationship expert, but I think you’re moving a bit too fast for her. Gabby just wants to enjoy her life. She’s not ready to settle down just yet. You just need to wait for her. I mean, I’m sure she really likes you, but just… give her time.”

“Yeah… I suppose. I guess after what happened with her dad, she had to be careful.”

“You probably remind her of her dad.”

Zakk violently shook his head. “I’m not like him.”

“I know. But she doesn’t know. Give her time.”

“If you say so.”

Wilson leaned forward. “So, what was it you came in here for?”

“I just wanted to ask you if I could hang with you on Christmas.

“Oh. I thought you needed me to take you somewhere.”

“No, I don’t need to. I’m just really bored.”

“Okay then.” Wilson then stood up. “Let’s go eat.”

“Eat. Sure. I can never turn down a good meal.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Let’s go grab some Taco Chihuahuas and top it off with some Moo Kings.”

“That sounds like fun! I’ll go grab the keys! Let’s go!”

Zakk and Wilson both got up and headed out to the car. The two were well on their way to get food. Finally, they make it to the Taco Chihuahuas and order their meal as they take a seat and wait for their food to get delivered. Once the two got their food, Wilson and Zakk both proposed a toast.

“To the holidays!”

“HOLIDAYS!”

The two then promptly ate their food until Wilson’s phone lights up. He picks it up and reads the message and gasps. Zakk’s first instinct is to immediately ask Wilson what was was wrong.

“What happened?”

“Well, I just got a text. It’s about my sister. She’s in the hospital.”

“Oh shit! What happened?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out here… I’m sure she’s okay.”

Zakk stayed silent. He had no idea what to say. Finally, Wilson had news.

“Jenny had a seizure while she was playing with the maid. She’s okay for now…” Wilson sighed with relief as he closed his eyes.

Zakk didn’t know too much about Jenny. All that he knew about her was that she had Down’s Syndrome and she’s extremely ill and sickly. He has met her several times, and noted that she behaved a little differently. He really felt sorry for the whole family. They asked for a child, and they get a retarded sick girl. The only consolation is that Wilson’s family is rich enough to take care of her, and they do a pretty damn good job at it. Zakk was fortunate enough that he was only blind, and he wasn’t retarded. He was almost certain that his mother, knowing that twisted woman, would possibly have abandoned him. Or not. She’d probably still love him just the same no matter the disability.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to head on out to the hospital.”

“Will it be okay if I tag along?”

Wilson smiles. “Of course Zakk… you may. I kind of need a friend right now, more than anything.”

His soft whispers of sadness told the whole story. This was going to be one awful holiday season. Zakk was willing to stand by his friend and give him emotional support. After all, they were friends… and that’s what friends do.

The two packed up their food and got a bag and left the restaurant and immediately headed straight to the hospital where Jenny was being cared for. The long hour and a half drive was filled with nothing but Wilson being worried that his sister was going to die, as well as facing reality that this may be his sister’s last Christmas. Zakk assured Wilson that this won’t be her last. He told him that Jenny will survive. No matter how much he tries to cheer Wilson up, he still feels that Jenny is going to die. Zakk knew he had to do something. There had to be something, some way to help save her.

The two pull into the hospital and make their way in as the receptionist at the desk leads the two straight to Jenny’s room. They find her hooked up to several wires as Dick is seen reading the bible out loud to Jenny, while Patricia was in a corner, wiping tears with her handkerchief. Their butler and maid were both trying to comfort Patricia. Wilson feared for the worst.

“What’s going on?” Wilson asks.

Dick pauses his scripture reading and hugs Wilson, happy to see his son had made it. He didn’t hug Zakk, though. Rather he places his hand on Zakk’s hand and shakes it, thanking him for accompanying Wilson.

“As you know, Genevieve is currently in critical condition. She has been stabilized in spite of the fact.”

Wilson and Zakk both nod.

“She’s going to be okay, right?”

“I wish I could tell you, but it is all up to God. God may grant us a miracle, or he may send her home.”

Wilson immediately clenched his fist. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“God is in charge, son. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“God can’t be in charge! He has no right to go in and take away the life of a 12-year-old girl, and ruin everyone’s Christmas!”

Patricia put down her handkerchief and did the Holy Trinity and prayed as she knew what was next.

Dick shook his head. “You don’t see what God is doing. God is always testing us, seeing if we are worthy to serve by his side in heaven.”

“God sounds like a complete _”

“Wilson, calm down. Chill out. Calm your man-tits.” Zakk finally stepped in and interfered as he grabbed Wilson. He later apologized for his language. “Mind if I borrow your son for a second, Mr. Wilson?”

“Absolutely.”

Zakk lead Wilson outside, and he was really anything but pleased.

“Wilson, I’ve got two words for you: What. The. Fuck. Man?”

“Actually, that’s four words.”

Zakk shook his head. “That’s besides the point. Jenny’s in the hospital and the whole gang is here, and what do you do, you pick a fight with your father! Yes, I know, he’s a total dick, like his namesake, but right now, you’re being the dick here. For once, your dad is actually just wanting everyone to cheer up and remain optimistic, but you here, you’re decreasing morale.”

“It’s true! God’s an asshole! Why can’t we just trust in science and medicine, not some spiteful God who treats us like the way Jigsaw treats his victims!”

Zakk sighed, rubbing his forehead. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Zakk, you’re an atheist, right? Why are you siding with a Christian?”

“Because in spite of disagreeing with your family’s Catholic views, it’s a little reassuring to know that there is some deity who has control of the situation. Rather than blaming doctors for not saving your sister, you can blame God. Though if God turned out to be real, I do have a few questions to ask him, but that’s another story for another day.” He pats Wilson on the top of his head (He was aiming for his shoulder he missed his target and got his head instead). Rather than to try and correct this, he kept it, to Wilson’s dismay and confusion.

“You have thick hair.”

“I know.”

“It’s so soft and silky.”

“Zakk, can you please just. Stop.”

Zakk then lets go. “Sorry. Just… you have soft hair.”

“Good to know.”

“So, you’re going to walk in there, and you’re going to play nice, okay?”

“Okay.”

The two retreat back in the room as Wilson apologized to his dad for attacking his God, as thankfully for Wilson, Dick forgives him, as that is one of the rules in his religion.

“It’s just that, I’m worried about Jenny. She’s the only sister I have… I’m just…”

“Son, it’s okay. Just remember this. God won’t ever give you something you can’t handle.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“But anyway… doctors said that she’ll be okay. They are currently monitoring her. Doctors say that she might have suffered from a stroke.” Patricia finally says.

“A stroke?”

“Yes.”

“At her age?” Wilson asks.

“Yes. Indeed. Like I said, she’s in God’s hands.”

“I might have to be a bit more gentle when I play with her from now on.” The maid adds.

“Yeah. That would be good.”

“How is she doing, Zakk?”

Zakk shrugs. “I dunno. There’s too much noise in here. I can’t monitor her vitality.”

Wilson groaned. “Why is it that in every situation where your special abilities come in handy, that they don’t work? Why?”

“Because maybe you forget that people make noises, too, including the electronic devices that they carry.” Zakk then paused and turned his head to face Dick. “I’m looking at you Mr. Wilson. I know, you’re wearing that expensive watch. I can hear it.”

“Amazing. You can hear my watch all the way from that distance. That is most impressive, young Zachariah.”

“You sighted people may call that impressive, this is just natural and second nature to me.”

Finally the doctor comes in as Patricia stands up.

“So, we’ve figured out the cause of her seizure and her stroke. As it turns out, her heart is starting to fail.”

Wilson did not look happy. Not at all. His sister was going to die. Zakk knew Wilson was getting angry, he could feel it.

“So, what is there to do?”

“We’re going to keep an eye on her and put her on medication.”

“Sounds fair. It makes sense. She was born with heart problems at birth, but through the miracle of God, she prevailed!”

“Indeed. All we can do now is pray.”

“Exactly! That’s what we will do!”

Dick grabbed hands with Wilson, who grabbed Zakk, who grabbed the butler, who grabbed the maid, who grabbed Patricia, and end the end grabbed Dick’s hand. The six all bowed their heads as everyone except for Zakk all prayed in unison, as the doctor bowed his head as well in respect. Once everyone said amen, and hung out with Jenny for a bit before being kicked out by the doctors.

Dick turns to Zakk, smiling. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“As am I. I’m sure that Jenny’s in safe hands.”

“Indeed she is.”

Wilson nods as he still couldn’t get over the fact that his sister was going to die. Her heart was failing… he was losing hope. He knew Jenny was going to die, but it was a matter of when.

If only there was a way to delay the inevitable. I’ll even sell my soul if it meant Jenny gets five more days to live!

Once the group was outside, Dick offered to give the boys a ride back to the manor, but Wilson said he wanted to drive up there, himself. He tells them that he needs some time alone to think. Zakk said he wanted to ride with Wilson, and Wilson said it was fine, he just needs to think.

Finally, the duo were back in the Tahoe, ready to head to the Wilson Manor. But rather, Wilson was going to take a detour. Thankfully, Zakk was blind, so he had no idea that Wilson wasn’t heading to his house.

“Your sister… I could sense it. Her breathing is very shallow. I’m sorry.”

Wilson sighed. “It’s fine. I’m just going to totally forget about this.”

“It’s not good. You can’t just ignore this.”

“Just watch me.” Wilson made a really sharp turn, and Zakk was so glad that this car had a door, otherwise he would have flung out in the middle of the road.

“Look, I tell you what, we stop talking about this, and you sleep on it, okay?”

“That sounds fantastic. So tell me, what did you get me for Christmas?”

Zakk gave Wilson a funny look. “Does it look like I can go Christmas shopping like this?”

“Well, I thought you know… you could use your phone to identify items and buy it? Like that’s how you buy things right?” Wilson was back to his good old jolly self, but Zakk knew, this was yet a façade. There was more to it.

“Actually, yeah. I use my phone to count my bills. Though as far as shopping goes, I find myself feeling and grabbing the item in question, and of course I do use my phone. Thing’s handier than a spy gadget.”

Their conversation was soon interrupted by a phone call. Wilson answers it promptly. “Hello? Yes. I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a few minutes. I love you. Bye.”

Zakk could tell by the sweat and rapid heart-beat that Wilson was lying. How do you lie about such a thing? That’s beyond him. But he shrugged it off.

The two reach their destination, as Zakk noted that they were in an empty lot. All that he could hear were the sewers below the ground, and some rodents lurking about, and the echoes from the city streets. And soon, he heard someone step out of their car, that smell. That familiar smell. Zakk got into his fighting stance and began attacking the stranger.

“ZAKK! STOP IT! SHE’S ON OUR SIDE!” Wilson yelled.

Clarissa was knocked straight into her car, leaving a big crater where her back made an impact with her car-door. Zakk lunged forward, ready to pick her up, but Wilson grabbed him and kept telling Zakk to back off until eventually he gave in. Wilson let Clarissa up and apologized as the poor girl was hunched over.

“Wilson, just… what the hell? You’re resorting to helping out the enemy?” Zakk shouted.

“This woman is the only person I know who can save Jenny.”

“But Wilson! Clarissa is a liar, a cheater, and an evil woman! It’s a trick! She’s not interested in helping you! I know, it was hard, but seriously, she’s not going to help you!”

“Actually, Wilson and I had a deal.” Clarissa interjected.

“Yeah, and the deal is, he holds up his end of the bargain, and you just up and leave him in the dust!”

“No, actually, I promised Wilson that I would help him out in whatever problem he has.”

“Wilson? Is this true?” Zakk turns to his friend.

“Yes, that’s true. This is why I sought her out. She may have worked for Dr. Ivanoff in the past, but I assure you, she’s not hurting anybody.”

“The deal was, if he let me go, I’ll be willing to assist him.”

“SO YOU DID LIE! You lied about losing her! You let this dangerous woman free to report back to Dr. Ivanoff!”

“I don’t work for that liar.”

“It takes one to know one.”

Wilson jumps in between the two. “Stop you two! Listen, Zakk, just hear her out! Clarissa, tell Zakk how you’re going to save Jenny.”

“I’m going to develop a serum. One that Dr. Ivanoff has been testing. I figured I steal the ingredients and make my own version, but less potent. I’ve been doing research on my DNA and see how I can figure myself out. And due to the trials that I’ve done, I have found out that I could make a synthetic virus out of my DNA and grant people abilities.”

“You’re gonna make your sister one of us? Do you realize what would happen to that poor girl? Do you know what happens when something becomes self-aware? It fucks everything up!”

“I know, Zakk. I’ve seen the Lawnmower Man a million times. I’ve seen all the Terminator movies. Yes, and I’ve even read Flowers for Algernon. I know. But we’re not trying to cure Jenny’s intellectual issues. We’re trying to save her life. There’s a difference.”

“And where are you getting these test subjects?”

“I’m getting them from the local pet store. I’m buying all the snake food.”

“Let me get this straight. So, you’re telling me, that you injected the virus in the rats, and they can use fire?” Zakk asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. Exactly. But that’s not what we want. But anyway, back to my story. As I made the virus, I noted that it behaves like a normal virus, spreading and infecting. But eventually, the immune system kicks in and fights off the rest of the virus and cures them. It’s a temporary boost. So I’ve been trying to develop it for the better, as I found that this may be a cure for cancer. Just as I found I was possibly onto something, Wilson told me about his sister. And I told him that I can save her. It won’t cure her of Down’s Syndrome, but it will cure her of her stroke and her heart problems. However, I found that I was missing one recipe.”

“And that’s where I come in, right? Funny, you always let the blind man do some hunting.”

“Well, actually, you’re just there for muscle. But anyway, in order to cure Jenny, I need you guys to get a sample of Kaz’s DNA. That way, I can break it down, and make a synthetic virus based upon Kaz’s amazing ability to repair vital organs.”

“Which will cure Jenny’s retardation.” Zakk added.

“It doesn’t. No. Her retardation is a result of her DNA. It has nothing to do with any broken organs. She may have a clearer head, but it won’t cure her.”

“…Fine… whatever.”

“So, just tell me where you need to go.”

“I think Kent was last seen at this location. I’m not sure if he’s there, but it never hurts to knock and check it out.” Clarissa sent Wilson a link to a map that points at Omega Weapon-Z’s location on his phone. “Thanks. We’ll get him.”

“Happy hunting.”

Wilson and Zakk both got into the car as Wilson set the destination on his GPS to Omega Weapon-Z’s location. They take off and they were well on their way. He was located somewhere in Tennessee, so the boys were on one long drive.

“Are you sure about this?” Zakk asks.

“Of course I am. I have no reason not to trust Clarissa.”

“She’s your ex-girlfriend. She set you on fire! She tried to kill you!”

“That was before she saw the error of her ways. She is now simply a geneticist. She doesn’t have the degree, but she studied directly under one of the world’s best geneticists. As much as you hate Dr. Ivanoff, you got to admit, the man’s pretty damn good at his field, despite being a member of the Third Reich. I think she’s qualified to help repair Jenny’s heart.”

“So, you’re just going to trust your sister’s life with the same bitch who worked for Dr. Ivanoff, broke your heart, and again, tried to kill you!”

“As I said before, she’s cool now.”

Zakk sighed. “Think about it. She wants us to catch my clone. She has his location and whereabouts.”

“Yeah. And?”

“Don’t you think that maybe it’s a trap. I mean why can’t she catch him? She’s strong.”

“If you recall, the last two time she did this, my folks got captured, and I got my ass kicked.”

“Well, to be fair, she didn’t know and got hers, too.”

“Eh, true. And she was genuinely trying to help us out. But still.... think about it. I don't want us to spend Christmas together in a test-tube."

"Oh, Zakk... relax... we'll be just fiiiiineee..."

"Okay then! But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Like I said, we'll be just fiiiiineeee..."

Dashing through the snow
On a 100-horsepower car
Over the highway they go
Arguing all the way
(Clarissa is a bitch!)
Horns on other cars
Making everyone mad
Oh what fun it is to drive in the snow
And then wreck your car in a ditch!
Oh Jingle Bels, Jingle Bells,
Jingle All the Way!
Oh what fun it is to drive in the snow
And then wreck your car in a ditch!

“Well, shit.”

“Yeah, well, shit!”

Zakk and Wilson had just crossed the State line, and now Wilson’s Tahoe is stuck in a ditch. Zakk wasn’t amused.

“What are we going to do now? We can’t get to Omega without a car? Better yet, how will you explain to your parents that you wrecked the car?”

Wilson shrugged. “I’ll tell them I slid off the road.”

Zakk sighed. “Just call a tow truck.”

“Actually, I was hoping that you could help pull it out.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes! You’re super strong! That punch earlier, Clarissa was going to have to explain to her insurer that she was slammed into her car. You should be able to move a 6,000 lb SUV.”

“You’re really going to do that.”

“What’s the point in having abilities if you never use them?”

“So that people don’t try to kill us for being different.”

“Puh-lease. Like a future like that is going to happen. We’re not the X-Men. People marvel at amazing people. Besides, there’s plenty of super strong dudes in the world, anyway.”

Zakk rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine.”

Finally, Wilson grabs the straps from the trunk area, and wraps it around the frame of the car, then he hands Zakk the strap and has him pull the Tahoe. The car was eventually back on the road, though the front end had a nice dent in the front, with a missing headlight. Which was fine. Wilson can just go to the junkyard and replace it. Wilson unhooked the straps and the duo were back on the road.

“Be careful next time, okay?”

“I will.”

After another hour of driving on ice and snow, they make it to their destination. The two got out, looking for Omega, hoping to find him, however Zakk managed to spot him.

“He’s over there!” Zakk points to where Omega Weapon-Z was hiding.

Wilson couldn’t see him. But Zakk could hear him.

“I don’t see him.”

“I SWEAR! HE’S RIGHT THERE! He’s hiding behind a wall!”

“OH!”

Then Omega Weapon-Z jumped out from hiding. “Hohohoho! Merry Christmas! Your excellent deductive skills never fail to impress me.”

Zakk got into his fighting stance, just about to attack when Wilson steps in between the two.

“Look, Omega, I didn’t come here to fight. I just want your DNA sample so that I can cure my sister. So if you would kindly let me take some of your cheek cells, that would be great.”

“Are you serious?” both Zakk and his clone said in unison.

“Of course I am. Jenny needs your help.”

As Wilson was speaking, Omega Weapon-Z prepared an ice spear in his hands, ready to throw it at Wilson.

“She’s going to die of heart failure and I want her to en_”

Zakk pushes Wilson out of the way as the spear was thrown at Wilson, which missed. Zakk ducked as his opponent launched another spear, only for him to get uppercutted in the jaw. Surprisingly it was very effective as Omega Weapon-Z fell and landed on his head, knocking him unconscious instantly.

Wilson grabs a swab and gets a good sample of Omega Weapon-Z’s DNA and puts it in a bag. Wilson then hugs Zakk, so happy that he helped him out. The two were in an embrace for several minutes before finally letting go and taking off.

“Dude, that was awesome! You should teach me!”

“Eh, maybe later!”

“Okay!”

The duo made it back to North Carolina and met with Clarissa. She creates the drug and hands it to Wilson. Wilson pays Zakk’s mom to sneak in and give Jenny the shot and everything was going as planned.

“This one’s for you!”

Santa hands Jenny a Christmas present as the young blonde ripped through it. She opens it and smiles once she sees the box.

“Look! Santa brought me a doll!”

“Ho-ho-ho! You’ve been such a good girl!”

“She looks like me!”

Indeed it does. This was an American Girl doll custom-made and designed specifically to look like her.

Today was now Christmas. Jenny was discharged shortly after she was healed. Doctors comment that it was a miracle, and Dick even added that God had answered their prayers. Wilson went along with his dad, as only he and Zakk knew what really had happened. Jenny was alert and happy. Zakk was enjoying the festivities and the smell of this nice fresh tree, as well as the warmth coming from the light from the Christmas tree. After all, this was Zakk’s Christmas present to his friend.

“We have God to thank for this season. He brought Genevieve from the brink of death, and healed her wounded body. He heard our cries and our prayers. God is great!” 

“Amen.” Wilson whispered.

“Amen.” Zakk whispered as well.